Psychology & Christianity

When my life seemed out of control and counseling was suggested, I backed off for fear of displeasing the Lord. How you might ask? I believed by going to someone for help, I was letting God down, leaving Him out. He and I were to be the only two to work this out. I had not yet internalized the importance of the body of Christ for those who are struggling. I was surprised by joy when God quickened my spirit and showed me David's cry in Psalm 139:23-25, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way." Immediately I cried out to the Lord and said, "God this is the desire of my heart. I need someone to help me. I know you will show me what to do next." Shortly thereafter the name of a Christian Counselor was given to me and off I went for help from a "trained" counselor from within the body of Christ.

Many Christians do not put these two topics, psychology and Christianity, together in their minds. Conversely they think the two are antithetical to one another. What I discovered while working on my Masters degree in Counseling is the basic premise for healing in counseling is ensconced within our Christian Theology. Since my expertise is the integration of theology and psychology, let me explain.

I taught Bible Studies from the time I was thirty three until I went to graduate school at age forty. I was pretty well steeped in Christian theology upon arriving at school. I entered with some fear and trepidation about the combination of the two. We studied the Theories of Carl Rogers, Alfred Adler, Victor Frankl, Gestalt, Albert Ellis and the like. Even though they each have a unique view of human nature that does not fit with Christian theology, I began to see a strong similarity between the two.

Secular psychologists have studied and researched for over 100 years how man/woman works best within the context of relationship. It seemed to me each of these men had some sort of interest in the pain and suffering of humankind. None, as far as I understand, were Christians. What began to be clear to me was their conclusion to all of their research did not conflict with Christian principles. These conclusions were "Christ like." They concluded that "Love, respect, understanding, allowing the person to make decisions prior to any advice giving and unconditional positive regard" are the healing components.

As Christians we know the very essence of God is unconditional love; Agape love, perfect love, and grace. The essence of love is God Himself as 1 John 4:16 states, "God is love." We also know this love is meant to heal and change us. I began to see the parallel between psychological theory and Christianity. Yet we Christian know this" theory of love" is not theory at all, but truth to be experienced and given away to hurting people. They, the psychologists, came upon the reality that love heals yet they do not know the creator of those principles.

Carl Rogers who created Person-Centered-Therapy is an example. His counseling methods came from the belief in the tendency of humans to develop in a positive and constructive manner if a climate of respect and trust is established. He had an assumption that individuals do not grow when continually controlled, directed, instructed, punished, rewarded, and managed by others who are in a superior and "expert" position. Rogers maintained there are to be three critical therapist attributes and I would add parents also.
1. Genuineness/realness
2. Acceptance/caring and
3. Deep understanding.

Yes, I know we all have a sin nature. I also know a child will grow in trust if you truly take seriously their pain, wait to give advice and go the extra mile to learn listening skills. Eliminating any chemical imbalance or biological damage, the child will grow in a positive direction. He/she will be more open to hearing you, the parent, and following your directives. Yes these children will still have sin natures. Yet, instead of fighting and blaming the parent they will be warring with themselves and with God.

I spent years in a power struggle with my mother upon becoming a married adult and not going to church. There was a three year period prior to my becoming a Christian of silence. On numerous occasions I welled up with tears, like the times I drove past my childhood church. Because my war was not with my mother anymore, I found myself dealing with God and Him dealing with me. I sensed the Holy Spirit's wooing.

Conversely if you take a young child and continually control, direct, punish, and manage them, constricting and manipulating them, keeeping them from being a part of their developmental process; you will reap a strongly wounded teen/adult. Roger's 3 aspects for dealing with "out of control" children need to be present. We know love works because John 4:18 tells us, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love." As long as the child or person truly fears you love will not be perfected between the two of you.

Abraham Maslow agreed with Rogers when he said, "there has been too much preoccupation with the sick side of the population; aggression, hostility, neuroses and immaturity's. Yet there has been too little attention given to love, creativity, joy, solitude, autonomy, spontaneity and creativity."

Historically the church has focused too much on behavior. As a result the church has tried to control, manipulate, direct, punish, and manage the sin nature of man. They have come off as Pharisees mounting up the "should's" and "ought's" on people's shoulders. This does not heal. It wounds. No wonder so many people avoid the organized church.

It is time for the church to look beyond the behavior to the root. It is not so simple to say, "The root is their sin nature" and dismiss the person as just being disobedient. As I have said and will continue to say, we either act out our pain or talk out our pain. There is some "lie" embedded into the soul of the person; a lie that needs to be exposed. It is when the lie is discovered, the Christian in the power of the Holy Spirit can come against the temptation to believe the lie thus quenching the acting out.

It is important to remember God's love has boundaries. There are actions and activities that are healthy for us and there are those which will turn and rend us. When we get rent, so to speak, that is our signal to go to God and thank Him for the forgiveness He provided for us through His Son, Jesus Christ.

If you need clarity and healing, find a trained person/counselor within the Body of Christ to walk with you.