Created for a Specific Purpose

Each of us are motivated in some way by fear. I experienced the fear of you ever finding out I am lacking in many areas of my life.  This "knowing I am lacking" started way back when I was four years old. I had a best neighborhood friend. We played together every day. My mother once said, "Why do you let her boss you around?" I didn't know she bossed me around. We just had fun playing. I took this statement to mean, I was doing something wrong. I was not all I should be. I was bad.

The next memory I have is being in a reading group in the second grade. There were different groups all named after the color of birds. There was the blue bird group, the red bird group, the yellow bird group. It didn't take me long to figure out, I was in the slowest of the reading groups. How did I know? There was an exercise the class participated in. The teacher called on Johnny who was the first person at the head of a row. Johnny was to read until he stumbled on a word and then the next person behind him would read until she stumbled on a word and so on.

I  listened as my classmates read. Many read numerous paragraphs until they stumbled. Others read several paragraphs, but when it came my turn I could only read a couple of sentences. When you are seven years old and begin to tell yourself, "Something is wrong with me", an insidious pattern begins to set into your life. What happens to children is they generalize what they tell themselves to all parts of themselves. They place shame onto the essence of who they are and believe they are all bad. Shame is a sense of, "Something is wrong with me. I am so flawed. I am not anyone of value."

We need to own our truth yet tell ourselves the full truth, not half truths. What is the full truth for me? Yes, I was a slow reader and still am; however, I am good in other areas of life. I can do things others can't and vice versa. Each of us are uniquely made by God for a purpose. As a member of the family of God I am not equipped to work in a position that requires massive amounts of daily reading. Nor am I equipped to live in the world of physics and mathematical equations. Nor am I equipped to be an athlete. But I am equipped by God to work with hurting people and to walk with them through their pain  as a Licensed Professional Counselor. My listening skills, reflecting skill and diagnostic skills are strong. By God's grace I can intuit what the client has not yet been able to verbalize regarding the confusion going on inside of them. I am able to reflect an awareness that gives them a release and a peace. 

This is the essence of who I am. All of these assetts are transferable, meaning I can write a book (Ending the War with Myself) yet still  be driven by all the abilities God has given me. He may lead me in a different direction, possibly speaking to hurting people, yet all of who I am and was created to be goes with me. I am free to be me in any situation and feel God's pleasure.

That fear I had of you finding out that I was lacking in numerous areas of my life, went away. When I sought the Lord, He gave me direction regarding His predetermined purpose for me. He had wired me to have a place in the body of Christ and equipped me with the gift of exhortation and the gift of wisdom. God will put all the various aspects of yourself together and lead you to your special purpose for which He created you, be it work or volunteer.

There are eight factors you need to consider: What do you value in life? (small town, large city, reaching out to people, working with numbers). What are your interests? What are your Spiritual Gifts? What is your personality style? How does your family of origin play into to why you are doing what you do or not doing what you want to do? What are your natural abilities? What are your skills? Where are you in your life cycle? (college student, recent graduate, along in your career, nearing retirement, retired).

Pray and list those things you know to be true about you; the positive and the negative. Your personality: are you an introvert or extrovert? That will determine how much time you can spend with other people. Do you like change or do you like to work on one thing for a long time? What are your spiritual gifts? Find out at http://www.churchgrowth.org/analysis/intro.php.  What do you love? Do you love fabrics, animals, adventure, working with your hands, be that a mechanic or an artist? What is your vision for yourself?

Find out as much as you can about yourself. Check out http://www.similarminds.com/personality_tests.html.  These are free tests. The Jung Tests are the Myers Briggs Personality Inventory. If you want more formal help, check out http://www.highlandsco.com/. I have given this battery of tests to hundreds of people and highly recommend it.